"First comes love, then comes marriage," says the popular song .You
might be busy with all your wedding preparations, making list of things to
arrange for, going on shopping sprees and deciding on venues. The dreams of the
future life with your beloved are making your heart throb with excitement relationship.
In the midst of all the wedding mayhem you tend to overlook one of the most important things- your relationship. Marriages are made in heaven but they have not been decreed by the Almighty to be perfect and before you plunge on to take the wedding vows, here are certain things you need to discuss to ensure a stronger marriage.
Career - All of a sudden, wedding planning looks minor by comparison. And it should, because these are big decisions that affect your future lives together. But you don’t have to make them alone and you don’t have to make them in a vacuum.
Goals - Do your goals match up or even make sense? Sit down together and write down one-year, three-year and five-year goals for your family. When finished, compare and discuss. This will tell you a lot about where you each think your future family should go.
Children: Children are true gifts of God but that does not mean everyone would wish to have children just immediately after marriage. Therefore, broaching the topic in front of your partner and clearing out issues as to when he or she wants to have kids? How many kids you both plan to have? This is the important conversation to have with your partner before committing.
Finances - You need to know in detail about each other's money and spending habits. Is their credit score severely low because they've been out of work due to the recession or because Louis Vuitton keeps calling them? Sometimes people are afraid to bring up this conversation or may think that the topic is taboo but it should definitely not be off limits. Especially if you're seriously considering marriage and spending your lives together. After the initial conversation you can also go further to discuss who will pay the bills, will you operate a joint account and what are the expectations towards spending (i.e. do I need your permission before I buy these Christian Louboutin shoes)?
Sex: Sex forms an integral and beautiful part of a married life and talking about it is one of the most essential things to do before you walk down the aisle. Have a tete-a-tete as to what exactly sexual intimacy means to your would-be spouse?
Religion: Finally, whether you are of the same religion or come from different spiritual backgrounds, discussing about your individual faiths and beliefs, ways of worship, compliance to raising children according to specific religious beliefs is essential.
There are other conversations that are definitely important but this is a good starting point. Get to know your potential spouse before you say, "I Do". Understand what they think and why they think that way. Most importantly don't be afraid to have the tough talks. Having them now will save you heartache later.
In the midst of all the wedding mayhem you tend to overlook one of the most important things- your relationship. Marriages are made in heaven but they have not been decreed by the Almighty to be perfect and before you plunge on to take the wedding vows, here are certain things you need to discuss to ensure a stronger marriage.
Career - All of a sudden, wedding planning looks minor by comparison. And it should, because these are big decisions that affect your future lives together. But you don’t have to make them alone and you don’t have to make them in a vacuum.
Goals - Do your goals match up or even make sense? Sit down together and write down one-year, three-year and five-year goals for your family. When finished, compare and discuss. This will tell you a lot about where you each think your future family should go.
Children: Children are true gifts of God but that does not mean everyone would wish to have children just immediately after marriage. Therefore, broaching the topic in front of your partner and clearing out issues as to when he or she wants to have kids? How many kids you both plan to have? This is the important conversation to have with your partner before committing.
Finances - You need to know in detail about each other's money and spending habits. Is their credit score severely low because they've been out of work due to the recession or because Louis Vuitton keeps calling them? Sometimes people are afraid to bring up this conversation or may think that the topic is taboo but it should definitely not be off limits. Especially if you're seriously considering marriage and spending your lives together. After the initial conversation you can also go further to discuss who will pay the bills, will you operate a joint account and what are the expectations towards spending (i.e. do I need your permission before I buy these Christian Louboutin shoes)?
Sex: Sex forms an integral and beautiful part of a married life and talking about it is one of the most essential things to do before you walk down the aisle. Have a tete-a-tete as to what exactly sexual intimacy means to your would-be spouse?
Religion: Finally, whether you are of the same religion or come from different spiritual backgrounds, discussing about your individual faiths and beliefs, ways of worship, compliance to raising children according to specific religious beliefs is essential.
There are other conversations that are definitely important but this is a good starting point. Get to know your potential spouse before you say, "I Do". Understand what they think and why they think that way. Most importantly don't be afraid to have the tough talks. Having them now will save you heartache later.
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