We know women are very sweet. While you keep all kinds of grubby mysteries from your woman companion, your lust for her flatmate, your huge debts, your Facebook flirtations, she holds nothing from you, because she has not anything to hide.
She is as innocent as a baby lamb.
In fact, women are awash with surreptitious passions and concealed longings. Even when you believe you understand her well, she'll have a secret life every bit as hardworking as your own. She'll never let you in on it, but here are some of the things she might be hiding from you, and what they could signify for your connection.
She tells her associates everything
And we signify Everything, from your performance in the sack and the state of your hemorrhoids to your uselessness with power tools.
We don't mean she notifies colleagues or occasional contacts, of course. But she'll have one or two exceptional associates who will know it all. They'll know what you argued about, how absolutely in the incorrect you were and how pathetic your endeavours to put things right were.
Oh, and it works both ways. Mention certain thing in a feeble (or drunken) moment to one of these associates and she'll know about it within an hour.
She has lusts.
And not only for you. You understand you have that fantasy about the young female in trading, and that other one about the older woman you glimpse every day on the train, and - oh! - that one about your girlfriend's sister? Well, she has the hots for other men too, and some of them may be solely unsuitable (your best ally? Your dad!). She's just a bit subtler about it.
She's awful with numbers
In specific, she's bad with numbers like...the number of men she's slept with, how numerous important exes she's had, and how many times she's said 'I love you' before she said it to you.
As a general rule, take the number she donates you and add a third again, and you'll be somewhere close to the truth.
She fakes orgasm
You know that women do this, of course, and you appreciate your girlfriend probably did it with her crack-handed oaf of an ex.
But she'd never do it with you. Why would she, with your demon method?
She wouldn't, would she?
Yes. She compares you awful report. You did not gallop into her life like the proverbial shining knight and knock all her exes into a cocked head covering.
You'll arrive up trumps in numerous of her comparisons (she's with you, not them, after all), but she still recalls Steve's torso, the thing Mark did with his hands, Bob's generosity and even miserable Malcolm's way with a wok. Sometimes, she may even fantasize about the flawless man, blending some of your best traits with a couple of from the men she has known in the past. She will not ever, ever, tell you about this.
She's checked out your exes
She's goggled them, or looked at their Facebook or MySpace pages, or pursued them on Twitter, or simply rifled through all those vintage photos you keep at the back of your wardrobe and sneered at any featuring unidentified women in bikinis. If she came over any engaging you, an ex and nudity, she may have hurled them out.
She's imperfect
Until that issue when you move in simultaneously and the awful truth becomes unavoidable (though even then she'll try to keep it from you), you'll never realize just how much work it takes for her body to look that good.
Yep, hairs sprout where they shouldn't, spots erupt in the most improbable locations and dark rounds and baggy skin plague her rousing hours. But when she meets you, she's twee-zed, waxed, exfoliated, moisturized and made-up to perfection. The span of her imperfection is her little mystery.
She wears alarming trousers
You only glimpse the sexy stuff (for now), but she has granny trousers, greying trousers and trousers she wouldn't even display her best ally. If you ever come across them suspending on the apparel horse, she'll assertion she uses them for cleansing her windows.
She likes old-fashioned
She's a high-powered career young female with her own flat, a savings account that puts yours to shame and a well-developed sense of feminine empowerment. But if you inquire her to split the bill on the first designated day you'll not ever glimpse her again - even if she seems to insist.
Furtively, she likes blossoms, chivalry, the full loving nine yards. But she'll hold it from you, if only to check your loving credentials.
She understands your mysteries
Her large-scale mystery is that she understands your mystery's. She's found your porn stash, witnessed your drunken endeavours to disguise a strolling eye and has a good concept that your claims of economic security and expert achievement are rather exaggerated.
And knowing these things, she either a) finds them hilarious (you're turned on by that!) or b) will contain onto them until she can use them against you.
She is as innocent as a baby lamb.
In fact, women are awash with surreptitious passions and concealed longings. Even when you believe you understand her well, she'll have a secret life every bit as hardworking as your own. She'll never let you in on it, but here are some of the things she might be hiding from you, and what they could signify for your connection.
She tells her associates everything
And we signify Everything, from your performance in the sack and the state of your hemorrhoids to your uselessness with power tools.
We don't mean she notifies colleagues or occasional contacts, of course. But she'll have one or two exceptional associates who will know it all. They'll know what you argued about, how absolutely in the incorrect you were and how pathetic your endeavours to put things right were.
Oh, and it works both ways. Mention certain thing in a feeble (or drunken) moment to one of these associates and she'll know about it within an hour.
She has lusts.
And not only for you. You understand you have that fantasy about the young female in trading, and that other one about the older woman you glimpse every day on the train, and - oh! - that one about your girlfriend's sister? Well, she has the hots for other men too, and some of them may be solely unsuitable (your best ally? Your dad!). She's just a bit subtler about it.
She's awful with numbers
In specific, she's bad with numbers like...the number of men she's slept with, how numerous important exes she's had, and how many times she's said 'I love you' before she said it to you.
As a general rule, take the number she donates you and add a third again, and you'll be somewhere close to the truth.
She fakes orgasm
You know that women do this, of course, and you appreciate your girlfriend probably did it with her crack-handed oaf of an ex.
But she'd never do it with you. Why would she, with your demon method?
She wouldn't, would she?
Yes. She compares you awful report. You did not gallop into her life like the proverbial shining knight and knock all her exes into a cocked head covering.
You'll arrive up trumps in numerous of her comparisons (she's with you, not them, after all), but she still recalls Steve's torso, the thing Mark did with his hands, Bob's generosity and even miserable Malcolm's way with a wok. Sometimes, she may even fantasize about the flawless man, blending some of your best traits with a couple of from the men she has known in the past. She will not ever, ever, tell you about this.
She's checked out your exes
She's goggled them, or looked at their Facebook or MySpace pages, or pursued them on Twitter, or simply rifled through all those vintage photos you keep at the back of your wardrobe and sneered at any featuring unidentified women in bikinis. If she came over any engaging you, an ex and nudity, she may have hurled them out.
She's imperfect
Until that issue when you move in simultaneously and the awful truth becomes unavoidable (though even then she'll try to keep it from you), you'll never realize just how much work it takes for her body to look that good.
Yep, hairs sprout where they shouldn't, spots erupt in the most improbable locations and dark rounds and baggy skin plague her rousing hours. But when she meets you, she's twee-zed, waxed, exfoliated, moisturized and made-up to perfection. The span of her imperfection is her little mystery.
She wears alarming trousers
You only glimpse the sexy stuff (for now), but she has granny trousers, greying trousers and trousers she wouldn't even display her best ally. If you ever come across them suspending on the apparel horse, she'll assertion she uses them for cleansing her windows.
She likes old-fashioned
She's a high-powered career young female with her own flat, a savings account that puts yours to shame and a well-developed sense of feminine empowerment. But if you inquire her to split the bill on the first designated day you'll not ever glimpse her again - even if she seems to insist.
Furtively, she likes blossoms, chivalry, the full loving nine yards. But she'll hold it from you, if only to check your loving credentials.
She understands your mysteries
Her large-scale mystery is that she understands your mystery's. She's found your porn stash, witnessed your drunken endeavours to disguise a strolling eye and has a good concept that your claims of economic security and expert achievement are rather exaggerated.
And knowing these things, she either a) finds them hilarious (you're turned on by that!) or b) will contain onto them until she can use them against you.
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